Clients and Candidates
Looking for an executive position? It’s as easy as 1 through 12:
- Log In with your User Name and Pass Word, or Register a New Account
- Log Out and then back In again
- Select or Click on “New Search” from the left hand side of the central menu near the right bottom of the main window right by the online slots ad
- Fill in the Missing Data
- Select your Preferences and Discard
- Run “Search Function X-108″
- Stop Running and Replace Any Lost Electrolytes
- Examine the Results
- Go That Extra Mile
- If Necessary, Repeat
- If Necessary, Repeat
- Voila! You Now Have An ExecUtive PoSition!
If none of that works for you, feel free to email or mail your resume to us in a stamped, self-addressed envelope with a little something inside for the effort.
In case you are hitting a brick wall with your searches, or even literally hitting your head against said brick wall, we have provided a handy and helpful 114-point Power Point Presentation on “Why You Suck: 101 Habits of People Who You Wish You Could Be”. Only $14.95 at your local Barnes and Borders, or send the money to us directly for information on how to get it online.
NOTE: if your resume is funny to us, we reserve the right to photocopy it and place it up for view on our company bulletin board or the Internet. Profile photos are highly encouraged.
Current Openings:
CEO of MacraSoft, Inc.
CFO at Berenson-Novella Ltd.
CPA at Online Casino USA, LLC
DFT at Benson, Hedges, and Buxom, Lol.
GGA at Murder Junkies Co., Int.
BLT at B. F. Hoagman’s and Sons, Deli.
ABC at Sesame Industries, Pbs.
Senior Manager of Account Services at Executive Search Partners, Yipes.
Sales Associate at Executive Search Partners, Yikes.
Minority Liaison and Mollification Associate at Executive Search Partners, Lint.
Director of Micro Management at Executive Parts Searchers, Ups.
Posted on: June 10, 2010